That US General only this time in London - Rate 1 to 10?

AN AMERICAN soldier in London decides to skip his tour group and

explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and

occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture,

chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.



After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class area...big,

stately residences... no pubs, no shops, no restaurants, and worst of

all... NO PUBLIC TOILETS. He really, really has to go, after all those

pints of Guinness. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls

surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to

solve his problem.



As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobbie,

who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."



"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really

HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public toilet."



"Ah, yes," said the Bobbie, "Just follow me". He leads him to a back

"delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.



"In there," points the Bobbie. "Whiz away SIR, anywhere you want."



The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he

has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured

hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since

he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly

relieved. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the Bobbie

"That was really decent of you... is that what you call "British

Hospitality?"



"No sir", replied the Bobbie, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

That US General only this time in London - Rate 1 to 10?
LOL.....I give it an 8
Reply:Hilarious 8
Reply:roflmao.....7.5
Reply:In contrast to the uncivilised part of the world you come from, all pubs in Britain have public toilets. It is a requirement of the law.

So your elaborate "joke" is not only not funny, it also lacks any grounds of possibility.



A typical example of American brain capacity.

mascara

How do I get my wife to forgive me? I sent a card and flowers to another woman, and she caught me?

cheaping out. I had my brother deliver my birthday present to my mother because he was going over there anyway. She says it's more fun to get it from a delivery guy? Is this true? Geez, I thought saving $40 was a good thing.

How do I get my wife to forgive me? I sent a card and flowers to another woman, and she caught me?
Cheap out on MOM????!!!! Thats like farting in church...it's just not done....loser of the week award goes to SF. Try again next week.
Reply:No, your are very cheap
Reply:I'm not sure I understand what you're asking. It seems like you have 2 questions. But if you want your wife to forgive you, just be patient with her and try to show you're sorry. When it comes to gifts though it's supposed to be the thought that counts!
Reply:Believe me .............IT is more fun getting it from a delivery boy!
Reply:yal it is bad to be caught in something like this. what can you do , but stay off that computer now because she will really watch you like a hawk now! stay away from all that an you won't be tempted....
Reply:WIFE'S RIGHT AGAIN..........
Reply:OK OK, Im gonna go along with this one and say, "why didnt you deliver them yourself"???
Reply:Well, it adds to the ambiance but it's the thought that counts.
Reply:Its a lot more fun to get it from a delivery person it just makes you feel special and it shows not only your family and friends that come over and see it but also a complete stranger that you are loved. If you want your wife to forgive you surprise with a card on her side of the bed or something little and sweet like that. She'll get over it after all you did save $40. Just dont do it again ;)
Reply:Yes it is. It makes you feel more important.
Reply:if it was your mother she should understand.
Reply:Not a good situation, so I don't think there is a way out of this.
Reply:LOL This is way funny.
Reply:lol



Another good one. Better than the last one!







lol....and yeah, it's better to get it from the delivery guy.
Reply:Goodness sakes, your wife should strike you...



as the type to want her husband to be considerate! Everyone knows that females like money spent on them.
Reply:You should have used that $40 you saved to buy your wife something.
Reply:ok I don't get it? you want your wife to forgive you for you buying your mom a gift?
Reply:Look don't panic!! just sit down take a few deep breaths and stay where you are until you can come up with a great Lie! lol

Ps; Maybe the delivery guy can help you !
Reply:Are you stupid?? You sent flowers to another women???? Do you not want to be with your wife? I don't blame you r wife for not forgiving you..how can she trust you, why does she think you wont do something like this again or worse?? yeah your cheap you should of sent your mom's gift to her..sometimes it's more about the thought than it is the present, but oyu should of made it specila since it was her birthday
Reply:Your mom wants sausage, man....
Reply:LOL, some people need to go back and re-read the question.



And your wife is right. There are just some people you don't go cheap on 1. Your wife 2. Your mother. If you ever think about going the cheap route on either again just remeber they have the ability to make you regret it.
Reply:a delivery for your MOTHER should always come from a delivery man---this is your MOTHER u are dealing with



show some respect
Reply:you just got burned well it is going to be hard to get her to forgive you so is your job to think about something if she is to proud of herself she won't forgive you
Reply:i understand your first part of your question but the second half which one u want answered
Reply:LOL, your wife is right or better yet if you were able you should have delivered them yourself. To get your wife to forgive you send HER flowers via a delivery guy and then take her out for a nice dinner for 2
Reply:first of all it takes time to rebuild the trust, you have to rebuild it, i suggest you start off being completely honest about what you did and why. then end the relationship with the other woman. if you have a cell phone either shut it down or have number changed and unlisted so you can not be contacted by her again. u by your conduct have suggested to her that you are no longer committed to the relationship. and that is putting questions an doublt into her mind. be calm about the whole situation, and try to rebuild the trust

What is your biggest faults----------Looking back?

My wife was expecting our first child after trying for so long and I did not even think about flowers for her, when I came to see her after the long delivery? And many more.

What is your biggest faults----------Looking back?
screaming %26amp; shouting during arguments with my ex, being so emotional...actually, having any of those arguments2begin with...



now realise that arguments achieve Nothing%26amp;talking calmy is much more effective/ constructive..



saying it louder (literally) does Not mean the other person will hear u any better!
Reply:My biggest fault is not trying to make my marriage work.......
Reply:not moving away from this hell!!
Reply:I took my wife for granted.
Reply:Dont worry about things like that. You were prob too stressed to think about it.

My biggest fault is that I think Im right all the time....but then I am a woman.... ;)
Reply:marrying my husband.
Reply:Whoa, your wife is a lucky woman if your biggest downfall is forgetting to bring her flowers.



I think, my biggest problem is that I can be selfish and stubborn. I'm working on it, tho.
Reply:Expecting too much from one person....and

Letting my children move away with their father, so I could be with a man who ended up playing me.



But hind sight is 20/20 and the only way we learn anything in this life is by screwing up a few times, so I try NOT to look back. What's in the past needs to stay there so I don't repeat the same mistakes. :)
Reply:Waiting for him to "see the light" or trying and expect for him to "change" for the sake of our marriage and our son.



My butt, he never changed and I wasted precious youth on that moron.



Now I know that if a person is worthless to begin with, I shall not waste time trying to straighten the twisted branch.



Good luck
Reply:listening to my heart instead of my head,being to naive.
Reply:Not listen to my parent to go to med school.
Reply:The thing I most regret is, years ago, when my husband (a truck driver) first plastered a wall in our new home and it had a HUGE bulge in it, I told him what a fantastic job he'd done and it looked great. Now all the walls in our house look pregnant! But, hey, I love him!
Reply:being too scared to take risks and enjoy things more, not worrying about the way i look and comparing myself to others! am much more free and open minded now!
Reply:Not dating more before I got married.
Reply:although Ive never been married - there are many many things Id change with relationships if I could turn back time!

I think hindsight is a great thing - but unfortunately it opens our eyes to our and indeed others faults just that bit too late!!!

xx
Reply:I used to find it very hard to talk up for myself. I am a bit better now thank god.
Reply:I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot. I am working very hard on this and there's been improvement but I feel very embarassed when I look back.
Reply:Not appreciating my parents (now both dead)
Reply:Not comming out in my teens.

.
Reply:wanting to try things, but being too scared or pressured not to. those chances havent come back around again, and i will always wonder how it could have been now.
Reply:Fear of failure but I got over it in the end and Im living happily ever after.

Do you know any answer on these Hink Pinks?

Hink Pinks:

1.a married rodent

2.an eatthquake on a Sunday morning

3.what lawers feel when thay lose



Hinky Pinkies:

4.a bull who sings ballads has a

5.theft o fa prime cut beef

6.the highest plastic container

7.a magical grasshopper

8.why the child was scared of the storm

9.a fruit that needs a shave

10.an anxios snake

11.a tired flower

12.a big hill that spits out water

13.a more intelligent boxer



Hinkety Pinketies:

14.a placehere the national leader l;ives

15.a disturbance during church service

16.history of spectacales

17.two drums conversing with each other at a jazz concert

18.a pizza delivery man who needs a shave

19.stripping paint with snakes

20.attacking someone with fase praise

21.a fuzzy UPS man

22.race of sea-faring craft

23.ships crewed by apes

Do you know any answer on these Hink Pinks?
1 house mouse

2 a wake shake

3. the sues blues

5, filet away

6. something tower

7. hocus locust (or locust pocus)

8. fright'ning lightning

10. fervent serpent

12. fountain mountain

13. brighter fighter

14. president's residence

15 blasphemous christmasmass

16. monocles chronicles

17. snare section jam session (or "bam" section jam session?)

18.

20. flattery battery

23. gorilla flotilla

Help for melasma

I need a really special favour ??????

A close friend was in an accident recently and is in hospital!



What type of flowers should I arrange for this person......



Special delivery....or Hand delivered?

I need a really special favour ??????
Definitely hand delivered an NO Star Gazer lillies. They smell awful and stuff people up. Something bright and cheery that will last and probably nothing too fragrant because of the person being in recovery. Carnations. Daisies. Tulips. If you can get the latter two. Where I work you can get bouquets of carnations dyed funky colors with glitter on them. I doubt there is a Meijer near you since you spelled it "favour" and not the traditional American "favor". Good luck!
Reply:Hand delivered if you think they are up for company, if not, have them specially delivered.



Can't go wrong with roses or carnations.
Reply:nice hat dude.
Reply:roses..hand delivered
Reply:Roses %26amp; some balloons, you should hand deliver to show that you really care.
Reply:hand deliver wild flowers they are so pretty.
Reply:hand delivered of course and a hge card signe by lots of ppl and a big tedy bear.one of those 'me to u ones'
Reply:By all means, hand deliver something pretty.
Reply:carnations or roses.



Hand Delivered
Reply:special delivery and go visit!!!
Reply:Most definately HAND delivery. And make sure you bring lots of balloons too.
Reply:carnations and special delivery
Reply:Hand delivered

What does this mean in woman language?

My girlfriend split up with me 1 month ago(the reason is still unclear, even to her i think) I sent her a gift certificate and flowers just before Christmas. She received them the day she was writing a University exam. She contacted me 1 week after the delivery and after catching up a bit, the first thing she said about the gift was that it was a distraction. Eventually she did say thank you. If she did the breaking up and i've been respecting her space by not contacting her, then why was it " a distraction"? What does that mean?

What does this mean in woman language?
You need to leave her alone, she is not ready for the relationship and maybe your gift made her think about it when she should have been thinking about her exam.
Reply:She sounds confused. Maybe she felt like you were sending her the gift without regard for her exam and she was offended (hence the "distraction"). But the fact that she contacted you indicates to me that she must have strong feelings for you. Even if she's calling to insult you, she's still calling you. She could have just ignored it and said nothing. I think she wants to talk to you but doesn't want to commit to it. Let her come to you.
Reply:It means she had to stop what she was doing and think about you. Could be bad or good....
Reply:It means that u sound like a very nice guy..............in love with a not so nice girl. Move on she has made it very clear that she wants to move on.
Reply:welcome to the dark world of women my friend. what a woman says and what she means by sayng that, is a mystery to everyman who came in contact with women. if she called you one week later, then it means she has some feelings for you.

regards

khan
Reply:Most likely she's confused and your gift made her 'pause'. Keep gentle contact with her if you like and see what happens next.
Reply:A better set of questions for you.



Why try to figure out what she meant? Is she retarded or merely trying not to give you any answers? She is a big girl and she should be made to prove it by her actions. She should be able to communicate honestly and clearly. If she cant/more likely wont, then it is either by choice or she is stupid. In neither case should you take one moment to try to figure it out. She is the one who should explain it. You should also be glad that she has broken it off, for it would not improve in the future. Trust me on this.
Reply:She's weird, that's a mean thign to say to someone who took the time out of their day to do something nice for you. Get rid of her... if you don't even know why you 2 broke up maybe she just wasn't into it or like I said she's just weird. I'd be super excited to receive random flowers! Even if they are distracting... plus they couldn't of been all that distracting to her since it took her a whole week to call.
Reply:I'm a little confused by that as well and I'm a woman. It could mean one of two things:



1) It was a positive distraction as she'd been studying so hard and it gave her a much needed break or cheered her up



OR



2) It was a negative distraction and broke her concentration or messed with her flow or Chi while studying/ writing her exam.



Either way, I would move on if I were you.
Reply:It's simple she had no REAL grounds to break up with you, and she still has feelings for you and the Gifts were a reminder that she still feelings for you Hence she calls them a "Distraction".



Hint: GO FOR HER
Reply:maybe its a distraction because shes been thinking of you and your gift is making her think about you and its distracting her from other things :)...does that help?
Reply:Maybe she meant it made her think of you when she was trying to concentrate on exams. If she broke up with you and is not contacting you let her go she probably wants it to be over.
Reply:Just forget about her she is plain mean and rude dont call her and if she calls you tell her you are bussy and that you will call her back and dont you will see that eventually she will be looking for you she is just playing games
Reply:In woman language that means that she is unsure of her feelings towards you, that she has too many things going on and with all the thought you put into buying and sending her that, it threw her off and couldn't think straight. That or it means she's just crazy.
Reply:"it" wasn't a distraction. You were a distraction. Pay the receptionsist on the way out. Thank you.

aveeno cream

Where can i buy inexpensive flowers online from the us and have them shipped to the uk?

i'm looking to purchse a get well gift, flowers, balloons, a bear, for a friend over in london...a man in his 20s. i live in the united states. where can i purchase something like this? like a website? i've tried 1800 flowers and all of their packages that can be shipped to his area are quite pricey and very feminine looking. i'm looking to spend less than 30 dollars for the actual price of the product. maybe a little more if it's all that i can find. and more for shipping of course. i also need it guranteed for delivery next week on a specific day. any suggestions? or any suggestions for DIFFERENT get well gifts that can be sent here? thank you so much!

Where can i buy inexpensive flowers online from the us and have them shipped to the uk?
In the UK there is a service called interfora which arranges for a local florist to make up the order and deliver it.
Reply:You will be better off using an online florist based in the UK.
Reply:It's actually cheaper (than using Interflora etc) if you know whereabouts he is in the UK and have a look for florist shops close to him that accept c/c.



Cuts down on costs heaps, you can always ask if they have a website where you can pick the arrangement you want as well.



:)